The Geeksme band will track your sex life for you

These days it seems like all wearables and smartwatches come with some sort of fitness tracking capabilities, so what’s a company to do if it wants its product to stand out? The answer is to have that one killer feature, and Geeksphone thinks that it’s onto something by creating a band that tracks users’ sexual performance.

You may know Geeksphone as the company behind the security concious Blackphone, and its new wearable is called the Geeksme band. The device has a smartwatch-esque design that includes a a circular OLED display, along with various features like step counting, notification alerts, calorie tracking, and sleep monitoring.

Those are all fairly standard features to include, so being able to track sexual performance will help it stand out from similar products released by companies like Fitbit and Misfit. It’s also supposed to be able to track your ecological footprint, so when you’re not busy in the bedroom you can see how your day-to-day life is affecting the environment.

Geeksphone has not revealed any information on the hardware, but it has revealed that the sex tracking will not be based on heart rate and won’t require any special sensors. Instead it’ll be a separate mode, similar to sleep tracking, that measure how often you’re doing it, how long for, and how many calories you burn each session. Algorithms will then be used to quantifiably analyse your sex life, because apparently that’s a thing people want to do now.

The Geeksme band is planned for a release this summer, so we should start hearing more over the coming months. Who knows, maybe it’ll be on show at MWC at the end of next week.

Presumably any industry appearances won’t involve practical demonstrations of how everything works.


Tom Pritchard