The Eurovision Song Contest announced today that Australia – yes, that Australia, the one all the way over the other side of the planet and very much not in Europe – will be competing in 2015’s final.
Here’s the announcement video:
Given that it’s not April the 1st (we checked), we’re pretty confused. Yes, the Song Contest has stretched the definition of ‘Euro’ fairly far in the past (Morocco competed in 1980, for instance, and Israel, Azerbaijan, Armenia and Russia are frequent participants), but this seems like a nation too far. Should we just abandon the name altogether? Is it WorldVision now? This children’s charity might have something to say about that…
We don’t want to get too Farage about things, but if we’re going to start letting everyone in, we’re going to have some fairly major problems. At the very least, the programme will go on for about 10 hours, there’ll be a whole new set of political voting issues (as if Australia and New Zealand aren’t going to give each other 12 points), and America will win every single year.
We’re got plenty of love for Australian music (Savage Garden soundtracked our difficult teenage years), but nonetheless, this is a troubling move. Nil points, Eurovision. Nil points.