Well for starters, we don’t like things that are anti-tech, because we love tech. Then these words are also frankly ridiculous. Here is my alternative take on the BBC’s Ten Anti-Tech words.
If you want linguistic innovation, go to FourChan. That’s all.
1) BBC: “Plugthug: someone who’d kill for access to recharging facilities.”
Shiny: WELL! iPhones don’t charge themselves do they. Also I’ve never seen or heard of any incidents of GBH related to charging points in Starbucks.
2) “Game-shame: The feeling of slight embarrassment that occurs when you realise what you thought was about half an hour of game play was actually about five hours, especially when you have inadvertently missed an event to which, under normal circumstances, you would have assigned a higher priority than game play.”
Shiny: Don’t be ashamed. It happens to the best of us.
3) “Spamnesia: failing to reply to e-mails from friends, because your computer thinks they’re spam.”
Shiny: But isn’t amnesia when you forget to do something? Nobody is forgetting anything in this case, the issue is that your email account has a poor spam fllter. Get a gmail account.
4) “Meanderthal: someone who tries to drive or walk while using a mobile phone.”
Shiny: People driving, walking and buying groceries while talking on their phone is a pain in the ass, because they usually do those things badly as a result. But this is not the right word for this phenomenon. A Neanderthal implies boorish stupidity, not the sort of latte-toting serial communicator who is most likely to be guilty of this. Also “Meanderthal? Why the Me? maybe these people are talking about other people and just want to help or comfort other people by phoning them up and talking to them..
5) “Sheeple: people who have to go out and buy the latest gadget (usually one whose name starts with an “i”) just because they believe that everyone else is getting one, and they can’t bear the thought of being left out.”
Shiny: Look if you want to H8 on Applefans just go somewhere else. The correct term for this type of person is “Early Adopter”. End of.
6) Memail: e-mail I send to myself to remind me to do things. Everyone else spends all day reading and sending e-mail to each other, I prefer mine to be private.
Shiny: I actually like this one and might use it.
7) “Nerds-nest: the tangle of cables behind your TV or desk.”
Shiny: This is kind of cute actually, but geeks sleep in beds like the rest of us.
8) “Faceless: what happens when you get either vindictive or drunk and post on Facebook, someone finds it offensive and your account is suspended.”
Shiny: Gracious, well I wouldn’t know about this one.
9) Dot con: the process of making money from the internet.
Shiny: Is Amazon a “con”? is Google a “con”? is Facebook’s $50billion a con? I don’t think so sweetie, unless you know something the rest of us don’t?
10) Intermet: “My word isn’t exactly anti-tech, but it does fill a gap in the language. When I have a friendly conversation by e-mail with a new acquaintance, I finish the e-mail with “nice to have intermet you.””
Shiny: err. You can say that if you want.
Got any new words? Any thoughts? Anything you’d like to complain about?[cartoon credit: xkcd]