After the unspeakable Hello Kitty cat outfits that are doing the blogosphere rounds (I'm not linking to it, you sick, sick people), I thought it only fair to even up the balance in favour of us cat-lovers and humiliate a pooch instead.

Strictly for those among you that like pets that are small, cuddly and seemingly made to be stuffed into a designer handbag, the iPod dog vest contains room for an iPod and speakers in the vest bit, and a remote control in the leash. Wrong, plain wrong AND tartan. But funny. Mieow.

[via Techie Diva]

Like that? Read this: Petcell: A cellphone for your dog | Body fat checker, from Kao Corporation, for your dog | All-in-one leash, light and radio

We all know that walking a dog is good exercise for you, and since there's no choice but to do it at least twice a day every day you might as well not be bored while you do so. The all-in-one retractable leash, flashlight and radio provides you with a wide-beam torch to help you feel more secure at night whilst keeping an eye on your frolicking pup (let's not mention what else it's probably doing). The built in AM/FM radio means there's no need to take more expensive gadgets out with you while you trek, either, and it runs off just two AA batteries. There's an amusing disclaimer that requires your dog to be under 100lbs. $24.99.

Retractable Leash, Light and Radio from Amazon [via Super Cool Pets]

Like that? Read this: Body fat checker, from Kao Corporation, for your dog | Hotdoll: Real Doll for dogs

My cats were alarmed to hear that a large dog has been equipped with a metal prosthetic paw to replace a natural one that was infected with a tumour. Since the prosthetic has been permanently grafted to the radius of the dog's leg, skin can actually grow over it, leading to a Terminator-type effect in case of scrapes. Officiating veterinary surgeon Noel Fitzpatrick said, "it will act as a model for human amputees in the future and provides hope for people without feet or hands." [GT]

Dog breaks new ground with his metallic paw [via Spluch

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Dress your doggie up in stylin' black with the iDog Tank. Made of 100% cotton, it comes in 12 sizes, from dachshund to Great Dane (which costs a surprisingly modest £1 extra). Dial has settings for instructing your dog to EAT, SLEEP, PLAY and POOP, so if obedience school isn't working out for you, maybe this will. $24. [GT]

iDog Tank

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Worried that your Corgi's getting porky? The Kao Corporation body fat measuring device is designed for dogs. All you need to do is tap the dog's flesh with the device and it will give you a fat percentage. The product seems to only be available in Japan at the moment where, according to Kao's press release, 20-30% of domestic dogs are overweight. And they don't hide it well, because all Japanese fashion designers are cats. [GT]

New Doggie Gadget: Body Fat Checker

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This may look like a regular 4 stone cat on a leash but it's actually the Cat Of Tomorrow! The Ashera is a blend of the Asian Leopard cat, African Serval and an unnamed domestic breed (probably "alley"). It will grow to be 13-15 kilos. Lifestyle Pets also claims to be developing a tiny dog which I guess can be fed to the cat. My cat Lacerda weighs over 10 kilos, and what did he cost? Nothing, he just showed up in the kitchen one day. Feel free to drop by and I'll see if I can turn up any of his brothers. But if you want your cat high tech, it'll be $22,000 - or $28,000 if you want to raise it from a kitten. Plus $1500 shipping. [GT]

Lifestyle Pets [viametafilter]

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Take your basic pet bowl, then set it so that it can open at 8, 12, or 24 hour intervals, so that your pet can be fed while you're away. Then you can record a voice message so that your pet knows it's time to come eat. That's the idea, anyway. I can't help but think the cat will hack it so it can eat all the food while the dog's clearing away all your surplus newspapers. $39.95. [GT]

Product Page [via Gizmodo]

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If, uh, your dog, has a habit of, uh, befouling, certain of your possessions, and you're willing to pay anything (and you mean anything) to have it stop, the Hotdoll might start to sound like a really good idea. It is a pseudo-realistic sex doll for your dog. Whether or not your dog would legitimately mistake it for another dog and want to cuddle afterward remains to be seen, but if this incredibly weird-looking mess of latex means your sofa's spared, it's probably worth whatever FeelAddicted charges for it (and it is "whatever"; no price given). [GT]

Hotdoll: sex toy for your dog [via Gizmodo]

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It's not surprising that we're seeing fish webcams, considering the perpetual popularity of fish screensavers, but the elaborateness of fish-computer interaction has reached impressive new heights with the Wi-Fi enabled aquarium that lets you feed your fish remotely. You can even adjust the temperature and the filter, and turn the lights on or off over the web interface. The Wi-Fi aquarium came out of the Embedded Systems Conference contest to design new uses of wireless, and also saw a sophisticated new alarm clock and other similarly useful-but-not-so-cute applications. [GT]

Wi-Fi Creeps Into Aquariums, Alarm Clocks and other Smart Adaptable Network Devices [via The Raw Feed]

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Cuter than the Float A Pet, the Pet Life Vest is a floating wrapper for your pet who failed the dog paddle exam. It has a mesh underneath that fits close to the body so legs don't get tangled. The vest comes in four sizes and has handles on the top to make for quicker rescues. $22 to $35 depending on the size of your dog. [GT]

Pet Life Vest [via UberReview]

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SegaToy's fluffy pet is a wing-flapping, chirping... robot. Just stroke it to hear it "peep" and keep it topped up with free-range batteries. Much like a real pet it doesn't display your email / make you toast / ping when Doctor Who's about to come on the telly. Thankfully the realism only goes so far; it won't be leaving battery acid "presents" all over your living room either. At 1,507 yen (about £7), this Japanese delight should entertain the kids at Easter for about as long as it takes them to realise it won't sync with their iPod.

SegaToys via [Gizmodiva]

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There are surely times when the most beautiful words in the world would be, Litter Robot LRII Automatic Self-Cleaning Litter Box. Though the picture makes your cat look like a space explorer-cum-Eskimo, I think even the most dignified kitty would be willing to tolerate some change if it meant clean litter every time. The entire thing rotates slowly, so that the waste is sifted gradually into the drawer at the bottom, and all you have to do is periodically remove a plastic bag of dessicated evil. It also has a weight-activated sensor, so if your cat charges in during a cycle it'll calm down and your feline won't feel like it's on a very slow teacup ride. $300, but what price freedom? [GT]

Litter Robot LRII Automatic Self-Cleaning Litter Box [via Red Ferret]

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We all know how much dogs like to jump on the computer and do a bit of the ol' social networking (well, mine does, anyway), so it makes sense that someone would create a special site just for them - a kind of MySpace for mutts, if you will - doesn't it? It's called DoggySnaps.com, and it features, well, a lot of snaps of doggies, really. There are also forums and blogs to browse, and the site is run by canine charity the Dog's Trust, so you can also make a donation online.

DoggySnaps website

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Finally, a camera for the Jane Siberry in all of us: the Wonderful Shot Dog Camera. A 3.5 megapixel camera with enough built-in memory for 90 shots, it attaches to your dog's collar so that you, when curious as to what your pet's been up to, can snap a dog's eye view of the world. You can also set it to take a picture every minute until full, if you want the complete version of a dog's day or afternoon. About £25. [GT]

Wonderful Shot Dog Camera [via Plastic Bamboo]

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The Float A Pet Inflatable Dog Collar is partly for the odd breed of doggie that can't swim, and partly for those occasions where, such as in a flood, swimming becomes less a pleasure than an exhausting necessity. It uses solar cells to power itself and, if its internal humidity sensor passes a certain point, deploys a CO2 cartridge to inflate itself and turn your darling fido into a water ballet pantomime of John the Baptist. [GT]

Float A Pet Inflatable Dog Collar [via Random Good Stuff]

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One of my cats likes to lie on my laptops, whilst the other lets me rest my keyboard on him, but none of them act quite like this kitten behaves toward its Powerbook. Could it be trained to play Counterstrike? (From how enthusiastic it is, one wonders if this is part of some crack Halo command squad, raining kitten-fuzz death from above upon us all). Warning: do not deploy any beverages before watching this video, which appears after the jump. [GT]

Do Cats Love Apple Computers?

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From the "why didn't I think of that" files comes the Spider Catcher. You hold the trigger on a long handle and at the end of that is a bristle head that gently scoops up the creepy crawly. I saw one of these in action at my eco-friend's flat. She looked much more dignified with her Spider Catcher than I do trying to pick up spiders with my tin can + dustpan. I can only assume, too, that the Spider Catcher feels like a gentle, tickling ride into the great outdoors.

£7.95 from Gizoo

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Dogs, it seems, love bubbles, and stay excited about them long after their owners, exhausted, just want to lie poolside with a mint julep and a parasol. The answer: the Fetch a Bubble Machine, which burbles up chicken-scented bubbles to keep your pooch delighted for hours. Takes 6xAA batteries and away it goes. £14.95. [GT]

Fetch a Bubble Machine [via Gizmodo]

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Although not the first of its kind, this mobile phone for dogs seems to be the most sophisticated. Not being a dog owner (I’m a cat person, actually) I found it hard to imagine what use a dog could make of a phone, but I was soon put to rights.

You see, doggies get lost, the poor wee things, and unlike those clever cats, they can’t find their way home again. Aww. So they need a device like this which has GPS and can tell the owner exactly where poor Rover’s wandered off to. This new On4 Communications version also enables you the owner to set a ‘geo-boundary’ and alerts you if Rovie-poo unwittingly steps outside it (lured, perhaps, by a cunning cat).

Had I owned one of these in 2005, I wouldn't have Lacerda now; we found him near-starved in the kitchen gobbling food from the communal dish. But given that made five cats in the house (my sister left two behind) the Electromagnetic Pet Door sounds pretty appealing. You equip your pet with an identifying neck tag, which tells the pet door to open when the pet approaches, and then closes after a suitable interval. It also means that when you're all bundled up and your pet Bester (well, my pet Bester) wants out, you get to stay warm and comfy. $55 sounds like a real bargain for that. [GT]

Electromagnetic Pet Door [via UberReview]

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