I'm already such a privacy freak that the idea of my Facebook 'friends' knowing when I'm horny fills me with an indescribable fear. If you manage to overcome your modesty you'll be able to enjoy sharing with friends whether you're feeling frigid or frisky.

It seems multi tasking has reached a whole new level of bizarre. It's one thing being able to turn your mobile into a GPS; it's another having your microwave double up as a toaster, but a vibrator/razor combo? That's going too far. The latest naughty toy from LoveHoney does just that. Entitled the Womaniser, it's a bulbous headed vibe, which comes in pink or purple. So far, so good. Then you discover that if you remove the base cap there's a shaving head inside! Umm...

Today you often find that being too vocal in bed is slightly frowned upon. Sure, we're meant to be fully confident women who know what we want and ask for it, but often we'll just try to encourage by umming and ahhing at certain moments. Well this has just been thrown on its head with the voice activated vibe, which works when you TELL IT WHAT TO DO.

Seriously.

Should you want it faster, harder, or to wave around more, it will cater to you at the first hint of a squeal. You can personalise the vibrator to use whatever voice commands you wish, be it 'Give it to me big boy,' or a more obscure reference such as, 'Set the dinner table'. There are 9 functions to programme in total, and they consist of vibration, speeds, pulsations and waves.

It's pretty normal to own a sex toy nowadays, us being liberated women and all that, but just because you're OK with the relationship you have with your rabbit doesn't mean everyone else is. If you don't want your boyfriend/parents/boss (delete as applicable) to go screaming to the hills next time they're round your flat, it may be time to invest in something that's a little more discreet. Welcome to the world of strange looking sex toys, and here are our top ten that you could leave lying around, with no chance of discovery.

Click the picture below to view the gallery

This vibrator has caused a air bit of controversy. Internal you say? I never! We show you how it works and try and decide if it's genius or not.

£77.49 from Love Honey

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I thought long and hard about posting this piece up as I didn't want to look like I was condoning this heavily sexist product. It's not the notion of trying to count your lovers that bother me, nor is the bemusing option of a reset button (for when you're going through a virginal phase), but it's the word Slut.

I'm sure the bloke's version would be entitled something like 'Stud' or 'Player', so why are women referred to in such a derogatory way? I think if it was called the Man-eater Meter it would be a lot more acceptable.

No, this kit doesn't have anything iPhone related inside it. I suppose you could keep one inside the bag, but you might be more excited by the actual contents. Included within this tartan case is everything your St Trinian's type schoolgirl could desire, from penis shaped lollipops and a willy notebook to a vibrating hairbrush and lippie.

But the kit isn't just for those in search of their adolescence, it's for those wanting a good time.

The Waterproof Vibrating love pillow. Hmm, it sounds innocent-ish, but if you cast your gaze to the right-hand side of the accompanying picture, you'll notice a rather suspicious looking object that looks a lot like a sexual toy. Apparently, it can be removed from the love pillow for a bit of self relaxation. It looks like you could also give yourself a bit of self loving too, and with a name like 'the vibrating stick', it wouldn't be surprising if it had some hidden uses.

Well, this is what it's supposed to do. It's designed to double up as both a contoured pillow for use in the bath or wherever you'll need a comfy pillow, and as a thigh and neck massager - with the vibrating stick. Yea ok. With a name like 'vibrating stick', it's more than likely that women would be more inclined to use it elsewhere instead.

What do you get when you put a Wii remote and an anatomically designed rubbery looking/large milk bottle thing together? You get the Wiibrator Link, that's what. It doesn't really require an explanation does it? If you're familiar with this kind of thing, you'll be in recognisable territory and know exactly what to do. If not, why not have a wonder through here and intrigue your mind with naughtiness.

I realise that two exclamation marks may be somewhat excessive, but when you work on a gadget site for girls, the idea of a product being released in another color than pink becomes an event. In light of Susi's post on the latest handset being released in black, the X-rated world is following with the Cone. This strange looking sex toy has moved away from its light pink packaging and taken on a more ominous tone.

For reasons that are a complete mystery to me, the folks over at My Chemical Toilet are currently hosting a competition to give away heaps of Ann Summers goodies. Oh, no, hang on - there's a tent involved. They write about festivals, tents are useful at festivals, ergo, My Chemical Toilet are giving away vibrators. And a tent.

This particular tent is bright pink and has Ann Summers written all over it, which is sure to make you friends at Glastonbury. And if the line-up is shite (which it is), there's always the Rampant Rabbit Heart Throb vibrator, the orgasm gel or the pink feather boa to keep you amused.

You can enter here, or alternatively, you can watch MCT's Stuart getting all bashful in a video over the jump.

Vibrators. Couples. It doesn't really tend to go now does it? Sometimes you get a mixture of the two when you're adding some spice to your love life, but more often than not you'll be enjoying both separately. Well not anymore! The We-Vibe can only be used with two people present as it's a vibrator that you place internally before sex. Yes, you read that right. Hmmm.

The We-Vibe is a wireless G-spot simulator that is created from silicone and can deliver 2 hours of action from one charge. It's also waterproof is you're in the mind for some shower fun. But how does it work exactly, and where *blush* do you put it?

2004 saw the birth of the Rabbit as we know it, a sweet silicon-covered piece of pleasure that had women country wide dumping their no good boyfriends for some personal 'me' time. Well, fast forward four years and we now have its latest incarnation, the Platinum Plus. It has every feature you love about the Classic Rabbit, with a few more.

Made out of stylish chrome, it shines delightfully, and has seven shaft functions, compared to its previous six, along with 5 speed settings and 5 pulsing functions. It's 7.5 inches long and one major change has been made to the infamous bunny ears- they now bend back 180 degrees! this is because apparently sometimes they 'get in the way', a blushing rep confided. Oo-er!

£45.00 from Ann Summers in July

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Now I realize this device falls under the toys for boys category, but it's so bizarre to look at I simply had to share it with you. And if anyone you know own this, I'd suggest avoiding them with a barge pole. The hand job machine apparently replicates the feel of a real handjob, and surprise, surprise, it was made in Japan!

It's 14 inches in length and can reach all the intimate areas, and I reckon it would be perfect for BB contenders who will soon be sex starved alcoholics. I'm betting Dale would give it ago, after all, he has said he won't settle for less than a 100% hottie, and this machine delivers 90-180 stroke a minute, so it's pretty powerful. I wonder what challenge Big Brother would use this machine for....

£224.99 from Love Honey

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The Rabbit is always going to be associated with SATC, and hey, they're not complaining, as that TV show has done more for than sales than a barrel load of pink rubber. Next to step up to the podium is the 'Rabbit style Seal Vibrator'. Um, excuse me? It's not like I want to be difficult or anything but how is a seal related to a rabbit? I don't think they even share a hemisphere do they? And surely all vibrators are fairly long and rubbery? I guess the Rabbit bit refers to the added dolphin/seal like appendage at the bottom. Hmm. Still if it does what the baby bunny on the rabbit does I won't complain.

£44.99 from Lola's LoveShack

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What's this you say? Smoking indoors? Surely not. Where are the PC police when you need them? Actually, I'm not doing anything illegal here, as I'm trying out the new Super Smoker, the e-cigarette which is LEGAL to have indoors. Watch the vid for more info.

Related: Rechargeable LED cigarette lighter torch: the eco-friendly safety gadget

At first glance you'd be mistaken for thinking this product was a joke, or the creation of a Photoshopper with to much time on his hands. Then you remember the infamy of the USB humping dog and poledancer and you realize this might actually be for real. This, um, lovely phallus shaped hard drive holds up to 2GB's and plugs into your computer when you open up the shaft. The best part is that it glows red when plugged in, as if it has caught a sudden case of shyness.

$20 from Teeny Weeny Drive [ via Gizmodo]

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Well, Mr Big sure isn't the man I thought he was. I was under the impression strapping his name to a vibrator would be a million miles away from his Park Avenue roots, but it would seem I'm wrong. Either that, or Lovehoney have jumped on the SatC bandwagon with no encouragement from the man himself. Surely not?

This is the ol' reliable Rampant Rabbit, but which now comes Mr Big branded, along with a pink 'Carrie case' (geddit?). You can also pick it up for half the normal price of £29.99, if you text in a picture of your cinema ticket to the film.

Get yours here.

More naughtiness? Go on then.

It's pretty outside, and the office smells a mixture of sweat and sugar free ice lollies. Tis only natural to want something cold at this time of year, and Ann Summers seem to think they have the answer. No it's not a sub-zero vibrator (to counter balance the one that heated itself up) but it's a Lick-able vibe, which mimics what you would do to a particularly exciting ice-pop or.... It has a RO-80mm bullet which gives powerful vibes, and is hypoallergenic as well. It's ergonomically designed to *ahem* rest comfortably, but I think I might just stick to Twisters instead.

£19 from Ann Summers

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So Archos has decided to add to its online selection of downloads with some X-rated content. Woo hoo! Now you can download Marc Dourcel (big-time French pornographer) onto your PMP. The 18+ content has parental control though to stop young minds from getting too warped, but allows the adults to wallow in whatever degree of depravity they wish.

They've also added some regular content to their content portal - read on to find out what.