This seems a bit rude for a Wednesday morning, but well, that's what we do here. Sextoys.co.uk have just launched a sex toy called the O Mi Bod Club Vbe - a love bullet that detects sound and vibrates to it.

Slip the bullet inside, clip the sensor to the knickers provided and chose one of three modes:

Ambient - Vibrates to the sounds around you. Whether it be music or your lovers voice, your orgasms will be tuned in to your surroundings to take you to another level. (could make the building-work opposite more pleasurable).

Music - vibrates to the beat of your ipod, iphone or mp3player.

Manual - choose from 7 vibration patterns and control them using the control pad.

Oh My. That's what we like, stimulation *and* some smart tech thing.

£57.95 from sextoys.co.uk

Liberal Democrat voters are more likely to own sex toys than either Labour or Conservative voters in the UK. They are also more likely to be bisexual according to a story in the Telegraph which mapped sexual preferences with political preferences.

The Tele said:
"Those kinky Lib Dems - a whopping 30 per cent own their very own sex toy, compared to just 22 and 24 per cent of Tory and Labour voters respectively. That said, three per cent of Conservatives "prefer not to say", which is surely just being coy."

Sadly they didn't state which particular products the Liberal democrats prefer, so using our imagination we've come up with a few:

1. The Rampant Green Energy Rabbit - like a rampant rabbit, but inspired by the Liberal Democrats' environmental policy. It's green and very energetic.

2. The NH-Squeel - like the Squeel from love honey, this is big and complicated as sex toys go but should make you feel better in the end. Based on the Lib Dem health policy.

3. The Transporildo - a dildo helping you "get" to your "destination" more quickly, a bit like Liberal Democrat transport policy.

Err.. that's probably enough of that now...

Related: Know your Lola from your Ina and Clock in your sexy time with the counting cock ring

As Valentine's Day approaches and our thoughts turn to warm sensual things, we have the good fortune to offer a ShinyShiny reader one particular warm sensual thing - not a hug I'm afraid, but a warm sensual massager, courtesy of Phillips. Yes it is indeed called the Philips Warm Sensual Massager for Sharing and has a specially designed charging base that allows it to be pre-warmed to a comfortable body temperature before use.

It has three different stimulation spots and five vibration patterns, letting the user adjust the intensity of vibration in each mode, from a soft purr to a seductive hum. And unlike many of its competitors, Philips Sensual Massagers are designed to be sleek and discreet which gives them the look of a high-tech gadget rather than that of a sex toy. That's why, Phillips reckoned, it would appeal to our geekier audience who prefer to be frotted by serious-looking gadgets and not rubber rabbits.

The set also includes three rechargeable "candle lights" that you switch on and off by twisting the base, letting you create an atmosphere of romance. The set works in combination with your caress to heighten your pleasure and get you both in the mood for intimacy.

Meant for use with couples and lubricants, it works all over body as a part of battery-powered foreplay. It's rechargeable and waterproof.

Anyway, dear Shiny readers, we have one of these warm buzzy little vibrators to give away to someone who answers this question: If you could name a vibrator.. what would you call it?

Email: comps@shinymedia.com with "ShinyShiny Philips Massager Competition" in the subject line plus your name, address and answer to the question.
The competition will run for one week and the winner will be notified over email.

Otherwise the product is available from the Phillips website

Sex blog TheFrisky.com - which runs a steady stream of vibrator reviews - summed the conundrum of Hello Kitty dildos this week by including it in both their list of most adorable sex toys and also their list of creepiest sex toys.

They say: "Hello Kitty, good-bye innocent childhood friend."
We say: yes, there is that problem.

$40 from Babeland.com

Do sex toys make you want to stay in your room all day, forsaking the company of humans beings to spend quality time with your battery-powered silicon pleasure instrument?

A certain Joe Vetter fears that that is exactly the effect that vibrators have on women and he is protesting against a university study into the attitude of women to sex toys on that basis:

"I don't think it's a good developmental practice to just tell somebody to just sit around and masturbate" says Mr Vetter, "I don't think that promotes relationships."

Top ranking sex toy makers Lelo have had to rebrand one of their new luxury vibrators, the Lola, a pronged vibrating dildo because another company has been making a Lola vibrator too. It's now called the Ina as in the Swedish girl's name, (we think).

What's with the name confusion guys? There are loads of female names... Can't you call these things Doris or Claire or Mabel? Well, seemingly not. So Lola, and now Ina it is.

We've pictured the two above.... Presuming that the competitor Lola was the Intimates Basics version from divatoys... Can you tell the difference? We imagine you can and you probably don't need to get very up close and personal with either of them to spot a few basic contrasting features.

If you felt your pulse racing when you read the news about LoveHoney's new Sqweel toy yesterday, then we've got some news that will get you all excited.

The company is kindly giving away the new naughty toy to one lucky reader.

In case you hadn't had the time to read our previous post (we'll let you off just this once), the Sqweel is a wheel, of synthetic tongues that go round in a choice of three speeds.

Love Honey describes it as "a revolution in orgasms! The sensational new patent-pending oral sex simulator has a wheel of ten teasing tongues that will lap you to orgasm time and time again." In fact the company is so confident of this little miracles powers, that it's offering you your money back if you're not, well, satisfied.

If you want to get your hands on this then email me at Andrea@shinymedia or leave your comments below (keep them clean please) telling me why you think you deserve it. Competition closes on Friday.

Girls looking for a vibrator with a difference no longer need to carry on the search. LoveHoney has just launched the Sqweel.

The company has been planning this launch for a while now and we've had our hands on a sample for a few weeks but of course we haven't been able to share it with you guys until now.

At first glance this gadget does look a bit scary. It's a wheel, of er, well synthetic tongues that go round in a choice of three speeds, and is said to do the job nicely. Hence the rather clever name Sqweel. But the strangest thing is that it doesn't vibrate.

Love Honey describes it as "a revolution in orgasms! The sensational new patent-pending oral sex simulator has a wheel of ten teasing tongues that will lap you to orgasm time and time again." In fact the company is so confident of this little miracles powers, that it's offering you your money back if you're not, well, satisfied.

International sex expert Tracey Cox said: "Sqweel feels completely different to a vibrator and while it's not a tongue, it's the closest you'll ever get to it! It's an entirely different sensation, so human it's almost eerie. Own one of these and a vibrator and your boyfriend should be seriously worried."

If you want to get your thighs..sorry, hands, around one of these visit the site now.

While we're on a bit of a, er, naughty toy, buzz we thought we'd tell you about something we stumbled upon on Love Honey (we were doing some research for you guys).

No it's not a vibrator or cock ring or anything you might expect when we talk about sex toys, instead it's a range of videos by the company's very own "Professor" and other reviewers giving advice, on well, the best way to use items.

Read on after the jump

You told us you wanted naughty toys and we don't think you can get any naughtier than this.

Nookii, an online shop that sells naughty toys for you, your other half and for couples, has just launched its Christmas range including the Super Hoopla, a vibrating pleasure hoop for both of you to enjoy.

Read on after the jump

Technology has long been used to aid and enhance our life. At its highest (and yes I do mean most expensive) form there are tools available to cater for your every whim - you can have a robotic maid, automatic dishwashers and computers that wake you up with a personalized hello and back massage tailored to your needs... There are also toilets that analyze your waste matter and suggest what type of nutrients you're lacking..if you must go that far!

Computers have shifted from being lumbering behemoths to super sleek devices which continually keep shrinking and the word netbook is now all the rage. Everything is slimmer sleeker, and shinier nowadays, but how does this actually affect you?

Love Honey have brought us a a fair amount of entertaining products over the years, with everything from a pedometer style cock ring to the We-Vibe in their arsenal, but their latest creation really takes the biscuit. It's a vibrator aimed at eco ladies, and is completely self powered, meaning you'll never spend a frantic half hour looking for batteries at the worst possible time (not like I'm speaking from experience or anything).

The name JoJo summons up images of Louisa Alcott's heroine frolicking in the grass, and affectionate names you might give your cat/girlfriend. Well this JoJo takes note of those terms and ups the ante, as this innocuous looking pink device is actually a.. FIND OUT AFTER THE JUMP!

I'm a little concerned. There's a few things wrong with this sexual tool, otherwise known as a penis extender. For a start, it *so* does not look like a piece of sexual apparatus - it looks like a sealant tube frame. Secondly, it looks like it'll hurt whosoever foolishly puts their genitalia inside its jaws. And lastly, its price tag starts at £114.95 - a high price for any sexual accessory.

But it might be worth it. We've been told it'll 'give you the penis you've always dreamt of' (up to 3.5-inch more apparently). There's no mention of a money back guarantee if it doesn't work though. I won't go too deep into how it works; it's a little too early for gag reflexes - if you want a detailed description, click here (you can get a 360 degree view here too). I can however, tell you it involves traction, skin tissue expansion and cell growth simulation. Oh and there's an instructional DVD too.

The naughty chair, the naughty hat and the naughty corner - all three things associated with unruly behaviour and a complete disrespect for authority. Ellen's naughty knickers however, have nothing to do with disobedience, unless of course you're into role play (I can't believe I just wrote that *cringe*). From the outer surface they appear to be an ordinary pair of purple panties (that bear a close resemblance to a jockstrap). The inside however, tells a different story. In the gusset you'll find a mini dong, you then take the included vibrating egg and place it inside to get your stealthily controlled thrills. A wireless remote ensures this is as furtive as possible. And if you really want to mix things up, you could hand the remote over to your partner and be completely at their mercy.

There's a one size fits all policy on the naughty knickers with the words "stretch to fit" in the sizing area of the product page. So that should have you covered.

At £44.95 here, this sure is one pricey jockstrap.

More naughty toys this way

I'm not much of a cook. In fact I tend to spend as little time on the kitchen as possible which is why I'm attracted to items which celebrate my lack of Stepford Wife style abilities.

But these are some gadgets that would try and keep women in the kitchen, and not in a fifties style way. Here we have a selection of innocuous if neon coloured kitchen implements, but wait! Beneath every utensil lies a secret, and most of them are battery powered.

This is not just a vibrator. This is a handcrafted, silent, five-setting, gold plate vibrator. In fact, this vibrator is so fancy it's not an it. It's a she (or so the press release informs me). She comes with a wooden gift box, satin pouch and recharger, which negates the need for any emergency Duracell runs to the local garage.

Can we say 'why thank you, what a lovely Valentines Day gift (and thank god you didn't go for the pink Baby G watch)'?

Check out more Lelo vibrators here

More Naughty Toys? Click here.

I've seen a LOT of sex toys in my time, including everything from the inane to the mind boggling, but just when you think they've reached the pinnacle of creativity along comes a device that redefines a category. Say hello to the FreeStyle, a vibrator that's so new it doesn't even have an official picture, just snaps of it at the AVN show this year.

I realise the title has pretty much given the game away (c'mon how could you not quote a press release like that?) but I'll elaborate nonetheless. We've mentioned the OhMiBod Boditalk which vibrates in time with your mobile phone, but this is a new kid on the block, that will buzz in time to your MP3 player (including the iPod AND iPhone). Simply plug in the wireless adapter into your MP3 player and play your choons as you normally do, and the FreeStyle will start to buzz.

You guys may be tired of our CES coverage by now, but did you know that the AVN show took place at the same time? That meant a plethora of excitement for our naughty toys section, and we got to ask the star of Pirates and Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge a lot of questions about herself.

Jesse Jane is known for being one of the first adult stars to film in HD DVD, and just won an award for the Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene in her Cheerleaders movie this year.

We want to know all about her likes and dislikes, and her favourite gadgets. And wouldn't you know it- the sexy star has a penchant for Apple products...

See the full interview after the jump.

Poor The Men. Whilst we have sex toys that wouldn't look out of place on your mantelpiece, sex toys that can be programmed to hit your very personal spot and sex toys that you might accidentally mistake as for some kind of End of the World button, they have to put up with eggs.

And not only eggs, but bloody expensive eggs. In fact, since these are one use only, and they cost £60 for six, I'm reliably informed that works out at £10 a go. Each egg can be split open to reveal a textured inner, which slips over the body part in question. There are waves, 'nodules and nubs' and a spider web pattern, although it's probably best not to get bogged down in thinking about arachnids whilst you're spending £10 per self-pleasuring incident.