Blah blah, we're a generation of internet addicts, blah blah, it's detrimental to our IRL relationships, blah blah, the end if nigh. Whatever. But yes. Kinda. Alright, yes. Maybe I am addicted to the internet. Maybe. How do I know? Well, like this...
1. Getting Beta invites for things I don't remember signing up for
"Congratulations! You've been let in early for this Beta Beta First Stage Feedback Trial!" The chances are, if I didn't get accepted within 20 minutes of signing up I've forgotten about why I wanted to try it out so bad. I am that fickle.
2. Dreaming about blogging
Last night, I dreamt about repeatedly trying to change to code for an image. This ranks right up there with dreaming about hoovering and dreaming about waiting for a bus in interest stakes.
3. 3am phone checks
I now routinely wake up at 3am, and it seems as good a time as any to check what people have emailed, twittered and facebooked whilst I've been asleep. Conducive to a good night's sleep? No. Ensures I don't miss anything? Yes.
4. 7am phone checks
The same process gets repeated at 7am, just after I hit snooze for the last time. This time, I also check the weather to ensure I'm not caught in a flip flops/torrential downpour situation.
5. Twittering whilst in a queue
Queues now seem like the ideal opportunity to twitter, which often leads to me getting to the front of the queue too quickly. The good news is, I've yet to invite the person behind me to skip ahead so I can finish my terribly witty 145 character twit. But that day is inevitable.
6. Trying to recruit friends and family
I get terribly frustrated with people who don't spend on their time on the internet. It was the Best. Thing. Ever when the world and his dog got obsessed with Facebook - finally, everyone was on the same (web) page. I just don't understand why my mother has no interest in an RSS reader. Surely her life would benefit from it?
7. Drunk emailing
I used to just have to worry about the drink and dialling. Now? Now I have to check back over the emails I sent after I've been out drinking. In my alcohol haze I've justified it by the fact that emails are free, and I can keep in contact with those in different time zones. On the flip side of that, I'm emailing nonsensical and badly spelt missives to people who are only midway through their day, and inevitably, sober. Bad news.
8. Photo sharing overload
It used to be a case of taking photos, leaving the film to languish in a drawer for 2 years, printing and finally stuffing in an album. Now, I take photos and baulk at the prospect of having to name them all, upload them to three of four different places and then tag them. It's the kind of thing that makes me wish I still had siblings who would perform mind-numbingly boring tasks for £2 a throw.
9. Laptop TV time
I watched The Apprentice three times last week. Why? Well, because each time I sat down I turned on my laptop and got to the end of the programme I realised I'd spent so much time going through my RSS feeds I'd completely missed everything up until 'You're Fired'.
10. Holidaying on the internet
*crowbar* I'm off on holiday in no less than 67 hours, and the world, as it were, is my oyster. So, where am I off to? A tropical beach? An adventure packed trek? Nope, I'm off to San Francisco, the mecca for those with an internet addiction. The highlight of my trip will clearly be blogerati spotting. L-O-S-E-R
Susi Weaser is the editor of Shiny Shiny and needs a break from the internet
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