Testing out the O2 Wallet, and the resulting nervous breakdown

When I first heard about the O2 Wallet, a little bit of wee came out. Imagine! You can call from your phone, and now, you can use it as your travelcard, pay for stuff with it, and get special treats from magical posters! What's not to love?

The thought of getting my hands on one of the trial handsets (along with 500 real trialists) was more than I could bear. And when I received said handset, I quickly got over the fact that it was just a really dull-looking Nokia 6131. After all, if you're going to integrate your phone, wallet and travelcard, you're going to need something suitably hard wearing. And hard wearing is what comes to mind when you see the phone.

It works via NFC (near field communications) technology, which is the same as what's being used in the new Visa Cashless system. In theory, it means you can press your phone to the Oyster card reader and have it register your travelcard, press it against the Visa Cashless points and have it deduct money from your account, and press it against posters to receive things like exclusive content. In theory.

Let's see how it fared.

Phone as an Oystercard: It took me a lot of courage to try this, and yet it was the most easy to test. The phone should work with all the Oystercard readers, which for non-London based peeps, is every ticket gate and every bus in the public transport network. However, with people commuting, Christmas shopping and generally being in a hurry, it takes a brave person to risk holding up the queue with a ticket that doesn't work. Eek.

But I'm made of stern stuff, so I braved it. I first braved it on a bus. It didn't work. Then I braved it on a tube. It didn't work. Then I braved it on a second tube. It didn't work. On my third tube, just when I was losing the will to live, it worked. I sailed through, sure that I was being followed by hundreds of envious and inquisitive stares. Possibly. Oh, and then I tried it on the bus again this morning. It didn't work.

Phone as a Barclaycard: The idea of being able to pay for transactions less than ten pounds simply by registering a phone I think is brilliant. No doubt, there are certain security concerns, but I'd be willing to risk it for the chance to ditch my wallet. Cashless machines are springing up throughout London, so I thought I'd nip down to my local newsagent to try it out. Purchasing a bottle of water became an altogether more complicated mission, when neither I nor the shop owner could get the machine to work. At this point, I'd like to apologise to him for wasting his time - if I'd have read my bumph properly, I'd know that it's only being trialled in Canary Wharf, Paddington and Victoria Stations.

So, off to Canary Wharf I went. The trial is being conducted in a variety of shops, including Books etc, Coffee Republic, EAT, Krispy Kreme and Threshers. So, off I popped to Books Etc to get myself a spur of the moment read. Wrapped up for the cold, stressed out because I was running late and sweating profusely, I grabbed the nearest thing (Russell Brand's My Booky Wook, on half price, in case you were wondering). And I queued. And queued. On getting to the front, I asked for their cashless machine, only to be met with really, really blank stares. It turns out that they don't have them yet, which made the whole 'queueing and running late, risking not being let in to see the Spice Girls' thing slightly galling.

And now I was late to go to the O2 (where coincidentally, I was supposed to be able to use the phone to get into the O2 Blue Room).

O2 Blue Room: The short explanation is that no one in the centre knew anything about it. When I found the Blue Room and explained what I was supposed to be doing, the guy on the door looked blank. I was getting used to those looks.

After a while, he pointed to what looked like a security card swipe machine, and suggested I waved it in front of that. And then he pointed out that since the door was set to open automatically when someone was in front of it, I'd have no idea whether it worked or not.

At this point, close to tears, I shoved the phone in my bag and went and found my seat for the Spice Girls, who were, by the way, A-FREAKIN'-MAZIN'.

Verdict? What sounds like a fabulous idea, is in fact currently completely unusable. At least when in my hands. It is, admittedly, in a trial, and the purposes of these trials is to iron out problems exactly like the ones I experienced. However, I would suggest perhaps forgoing your early adopter tendencies with this one, and waiting for the second generation. Your stress levels will thank you for it.