Top 5 pirate goodies for International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Today be international talk like a pirate day, which explains why I'm sittin' here in a pirate headscarf, with no depth o' vision due t' me eye patch. It's a day particularly close t' our Shiny hearts, since it was t' late great Star's favourite day o' t' year - we're pretty sure she's up thar somewhere makin' St Peter walk t' plank.

So, here for your delectation, our delectation and Star's delectation be t' best o' t' pirate gadgets. And don't worry, I'm going to stop writing like that now. M'hearties.

Pirate/Ninja batteries

Break open the packaging and stow away the Ninja power cells for International Talk Like a Ninja Day, for today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and no other batteries will do. OK, they may not have those pressure points which show how much power is left. OK, they may not necessarily be as effective as more well-known brands. But my, are they On Message.

Pirate toast
Whilst not strictly speaking a gadget, the pirate toast stamp will add an element of the High Seas to your breakfast routine. And, apparently, it's what all the cool pirates are eating (when they're not on their macrobiotic diet).

USB Pop up pirate
A game from my childhood, since for some reason I spent a lot of it in suspense - Operation, Buckaroo, Jenga (lofi suspense version). Sadly, the pirate doesn't fly out of this one, which is probably a relief for your delicate computer hardware.

Interactive Parrot
Every good hero or villain should have an animal sidekick - Toto, Pluto... Santa's Little Helper. Anyway, here's the pirate version, which will, among other things, kiss you when you place your lips to its beak. How odd.

Pirate watch
If there's one thing guaranteed to result in plank walking it's tardiness. Pirates hate tardiness. They tend to take it terribly personally, and as a slur against their culture. So, before setting sail, best kit yourself out with one of these watches. Because, as overly-sensitive as pirates are, they're also easily flattered by people bearing accessories with their logo.