As if Steve Jobs didn't get his knickers in enough of a twist over the iGasm, now the Japanese are getting into the act. At the Adult Treasure Expo 2007 which is Japan’s first sex toy expo, inventor Ichiro Kameda introduced the gPod, also known as the iVibrator. Much like the iGasm or the OhMiBod, the gPod, a "phallic shaped vibrator", vibrates along with the music on your iPod. You could also plug it into your mobile phone or television. gPod will sell for 25,000 Yen or about £120. [GT]

GPod vibrator hits high note with Japanese women [via gizmocafe

More naughty toys

The Healing Theater Umine lets you listen to digital nature sounds while blue and green LED lights are projected on your ceiling. You can choose the sounds of the sea, the rainforest or the beach, depending on whether you want screeching birds, pounding surf or sex-crazed dolphins. It can also be used as a speaker if none of those sounds are what soothes you and you'd rather listen to a 16 car pileup. This product includes a timer function for 30 minutes and works with four C batteries (not included). Now available for pre-order and shipping in August. $84.00. [GT]

Healing Theater Umine [via technabob

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Who doesn't like those pubtop arcade machines with games like Photohunt, Quizmaster, and WordSearch -- just the thing to play when you're too drunk for darts. Now Frontgate lets you bring those games home with the Megatouch Gametime. The game system has over 80 games in 9 categories installed, allows you to design and post your own messages on-screen, track your high scores and even lets you surf the Web and send and receive e-mails by connecting your existing broadband to the back of the system. The most off-putting thing is the price: $3795. You can easily recoup that money however, by charging your friends and family a quid every time they play (and operating a cash bar, just like the pub). [GT]

Megatouch Gametime [via OhGizmo!]

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I know they say form follows function, but the morning-star-mace / sea-lane-mine / alien-space-ship qualities of the Saeco Etienne Louis espresso coffee machine seem to indicate far more violent function than is conventional with modern-day espresso makers. Perhaps after making a delicious cup of joe you'll swing it around your head while you shriek imprecations against the fairies at the bottom of the garden? (And do I want one? You bet.) [GT]

Saeco Etienne Louis espresso coffee machine [via BornRich]

More home appliances

Fashion! Turn to the left! Fashion! Turn to the right! Smile! Smile! Smile! Don't know how to smile? Get a Smile Trainer. This chunk of rubber is shaped to make it absolutely unpleasant and difficult not to look like you're having the best, best time, darling. It also promises to make your face smoother and younger looking by reducing wrinkles and improving muscle tone. Be sure to get 'em while they're young, as per the packaging! [GT]

Smile Trainer

More personal grooming

Create the most exclusive Hello Kitty instance of all: your own cat! Simply apply the Hello Kitty cat transformation set, which consists of helmet, collar and poufy bits (though no Hannibal-Lecter style face mask, so not a true mouthless Hello Kitty). While nearly all cats on the planet will respond to this with abject horror and consternation, I spoke to the sole feline exception and he indicated he'd be happy to dress up like this if I give him my pearl rope afterward. Since they look better on him. [GT]

Hello Kitty cat transformation set [via Gizmodo]

More pet stuff

While making a perfect cup of tea involving teabags is akin to making a perfect sandwich with American Wonder Bread, steeping the tea for the correct duration is not only the most important part but the easiest part to absent-mindedly overdo (resulting in sour, acidic tea fit only for dyeing dirty socks a chic shade of cream). You can substitute for brain-function with a Penguin Teaboy, a cute little bird with a timer in his side. Set the timer for the proper tea steeping phase, attach the teabag string to his beak, and when the tea is done, the Teaboy will lift the teabag out of the infusion. $19. [GT]

Penguin Teaboy [via Red Ferret]

More gadgets

Bittorrent? eMule? Old-school Napster? Show your pirate pride with the Vabene Pirate Watch, a blingy and highly unsubtle celebration of the high-seas lifestyle. Encrusted with Swarovski crystals, it has a lightweight acrylic band but hits you in the pocketbook, at $250. [GT]

Vabene Pirate Watch [via Crave]

More apparel

As a writer, I'm constantly encountering stylish Luddites who claim literature cannot flourish except when pounded out painfully via typewriter, therefore, literature is doomed. I challenge any and all of the aforementioned to switch over to the 22 Pop E-mail Typewriter, a portable typewriter with electronic guts which allow the typewritten material to be, ah, stylishly, transmitted to the Internet. Given how distracting a full-fledged laptop (even my lesser laptop, a battered Powerbook in the sub-gigahertz range) can be when one is trying to write, the E-mail Typewriter has legitimate (if esoteric) appeal, as well as providing a rejoinder to those who supposedly long for the good ol' days. [GT]

22 Pop E-mail typewriter [via Gizmodo]

More gadgets

Those who love their mobiles tend to take them everywhere, which exposes them to sudden death by mower blade, tractor combine or falling twelve stories from construction scaffolding. ("He brought all the pieces in," tech support said. "We definitely couldn't do anything with it, though.") Lavatory mishaps are the number one cause of death for mobiles, followed up by a variety of other encounters with water (from being put through the laundry, to falling in puddles, to falling out of canoes). However, a brush with H2O doesn't necessarily spell death, if you think fast. Six steps to bring your mobile back from a watery grave, after the jump. [GT]

I used to have a CD collection, but nowadays it's all MP3s. Coincidentally, earlier today I found a collection of dice I no longer use. Obviously then, I am not the market for the Dice CD storage rack from StrapYa, but it is oddly cute. Available in 4 colours (orange, green, pink and blue), the rack holds up to 60 CDs each and costs 1,575 yen (£6/$13). [GT]

Dice CD storage rack

More furnishings and furniture

IFO 3000 Levitating Objects realizes every desk jockey's dream of a floating Mini Cooper. IFO stands for Identified Flying Objects and yes, that is an uncongenial name. A special microprocessor inside the IFO controls the magnetic field used to hold and balance an object so that it levitates.The IFO comes with a globe but there are a number of accessories available including an LCD Alarm clock, a color changing night light, a picture frame, the Space Shuttle, and the aforementioned Mini Cooper. The IFO 3000 retails for £54.50, with accessories costing about £12.95. [GT]

IFO 3000 Levitating Objects [via Chip Chick

More gadgets

Haven't you always wanted to sit inside a mood ring? Good! Then you'll love Fuwapica furniture, which rather tactlessly change color according to the weight and position of the user. (How about age?) The new Fuwapica suite takes it one step further, with a computer, an LCD display screen and light sensors that link to each of four inflatable chairs. If you put red roses on the table, the sensors will sense it and send that information to the chairs, which will then turn red. The suite will not be available commercially for a few years, but Fuwapica Honeycomb (¥417,000) and Ice (¥179,000) chairs are available now from the Proto-Type Inc. in Tokyo. [GT]

Flashy Furniture Changes Color to Match Your Mood [via Ubergizmo ]

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The TimeCap (not to be confused with Time Cube) may look like a rather snazzy piece of jewelry, but could be considered a digital urn. Instead of the ashes of the loved one, the TimeCap is a USB drive and is filled with videos, photo and other digital memorabilia. Created by Cherif Morsi, the TimeCap is not yet available at your local funeral home but can be seen at the Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam. It has 1GB of storage capacity so could be used for a less ritualistic purpose. Like storing the favourite porn you'd like to be buried with. [GT]

Chi Ha Paura's TimeCap [via Techie Diva]

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Holding, however temporarily, the jokes about Star Wars fans not having a social network in the first place, since now they can start one with these Star Wars Social Networking Cards. Each card, available in standard or premium, has a Star Wars scene on the front and boxes on the back to put information about yourself such as your address, emails, IM screen names, likes, hobbies, phone numbers, passwords, bank account numbers and location of first born. With the premium card, you get to choose from 73 different images, put your name on the front, and get to choose from 6, 9, or 12 categories. With the standard, you get no choice of image, no name on front, and only 6 categories. Standard cards cost $29.99 for 100. Premium costs $59.99 per 500 and $74.99 per 1000. Which means that 1000 people get to know that you'd pay $75 for a Star Wars card. (Disclaimer: when I was a little girl, I wanted to be Darth Vader when I grew up.) [GT]

EXCLUSIVE and OFFICIAL Star Wars Social Networking Cards [via I4U News]

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Let's make Halo 3 even awesomer: with actual weapons! I mean, uh, actual toy weapons. Jasman Toys is bringing Halo 3 Covenant Weapons replicas to Comic-Con. Each weapon will have vibrations, sounds, lights and recoil as well as an infrared beam and target that register hits on an LCD counter. It even has flanges that pop open when the unit "overheats". The Covenant Plasma Rifle and Plasma Pistol will be available in October, shortly after Halo 3 comes out, and shortly before at least one appears in my basement lair. A Covenant Energy Sword is planned for 2008. The rifle retails for $119.99 and the pistol is $79.99. [GT]

JASMAN TOYS UNVEILS FIRST-OF-KIND HALO 3™ REPLICA WEAPONS AT COMIC-CON 2007 [via Gizmodo]

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Bringing a whole new meaning to iPhone, the Japanese security firm Oki is devising software that is based on an iris recognizing algorithm. The software itself requires around 200KB of your phone’s memory, with around a further 200KB memory when in operation. It also requires a camera ability of at least one megapixel. Oki claims it will only take half a second to authenticate the iris. The software will be compatible with Windows Mobile 2003, XP and Symbian (used by Nokia) operating systems and wil begin shipping later this month. So open wide before you dial! [GT]

Oki mobilises iris scanner software [via Tokyomango]

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This scary looking gadget might not look like something you'd want to put near your face but they look like a pretty nifty idea. If you really must pluck your eyebrows in the dark like a crazy person these Illuminated Tweezers are the solution.

The two intergral LEDs in the arms of the tweezers turn on when you apply pressure. They're made of polycarbonate too so they won't rust. I don't know if you tend to pluck hairs underwater but if you must. Oh, and they've got ridges so they grip well too. Sounds rather impressive to me. These tweezers cost $24.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer.

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No, there's no way I just wrote about this Instructables guide to making patterns on your fridge with magnetic lights just because there was a Pac-Man picture. What, do you think I'm obsessed? Just because of the moving plush toys and the crocheted set of P-M and ghosts? Well, you'd be... okay, you'd be right. But bear with me here because Pac-Man is not a necessity here and this bit of geek-home-chicery actually creates a pretty cool effect... We knew the types frequenting Crafty Crafty were on to something. See more pics after the jump.

First off I have to object to the sheer neon-ness of these USB speakers, and complain that they don't come in any other colour options. Next, I would suggest that they are more ballet dancers than angels as the lack of wings, halos and feeling of purity seems to be MIA. That aside they're quite dinky little add ons to your laptop, working via a USB connector, with an inbuilt hi-fi amplifier circuit and anti magnetic design. The audio quality may not be the best, but considering they're as cheap as chips you can't really complain to much.

$10 from Brando [ via Technobab]

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