Forget shark attacks, any would-be assailant could be getting a cutesie seal attack the next time they try to mess with you! The deceptive pink seal pendant is really an electric shock device designed to give a 195V shock to the one it touches. That’s a safe shock – we don’t want to be up for murder, here, even if it was in self-defense – but it’s not the kind of shock you don’t notice either. So while your attacker is busy going, “Ouch! What the –?” you can be legging it in the other direction, cutesie pink body guard bobbing in satisfaction around your neck.
Now, I do understand the psychology here – the seal is really the last thing on earth you’d expect to be dangerous – and it’s a good try but that doesn’t change the fact I don’t really want to wear it. What we need here is a range of Schwarovski crystal encrusted zappers in a variety of summer colours to match your outfit.