Cate Sevilla writes...
When did blogging and social networking get so complicated? I have to confess that I spend a fair bit of time online all day. It's sort of my job, sort of my hobby, and just sort of what I do. However, I do know how to turn off the dang computer, walk away, and get on with "real life". Keeping in touch with people online is cool, communicating with people through blog comments can be super neat at times, but suddenly social networking has taken a weird turn. I feel like every where I turn people are literally having a mental breakdown all over their keyboards.
I came across an incredibly brilliant (and by brilliant I mean so good that when I read it I went into a mad, jealous rage cursing the fact that it wasn't written by me) blog post called "Is your self-worth wrapped up in your blog?" by Lorelle VanFossen. Basically, Lorelle wrote about how some of us can get so wrapped up in blogs, that even having one bad comment can cancel out all of the good comments that we received. Does that one bit of negativity ruin your day? Does it keep you up at night thinking, "I can't believe that. That was so mean! They didn't even listen to what I said!"
Our blogs are essentially projection of who we are, on any given day and time. The posts we write capture who we were on Friday, 27th April, 2007. Or Thursday, 11th January, 2006. It really is a beautiful thing. However, some people's egos get captured in those blogs, as well. Some cannot handle the negative reactions to their posts. People disagreeing or not giving them the adequate amounts of sugar-coated-blog-love they need to function, results in a distorted, emotional meltdown. As if someone disagreeing with them means that they're generally disliked, unloved, and a bad, bad person. A misunderstood, tragically targeted, unloved being.
Which, brings us back to Lorelle's question. If you are literally caused emotional distress by people ONLNE that live hundreds of miles away from you simply because they don't like you and disagree with you...who the hell cares? It's a painful realization that not everyone we meet is going to fall madly in love with who we are, but that's just the truth. People are going to disagree with us in real life, and they're sure as hell going to disagree with us online. That is never going to change. But what we can change, is how we view it. Whether it's getting thicker skin, changing our comment policy, or getting therapy...it's up to us.
The "gang mentality" and and "mean girl" attitudes filter from real life, into the online world. They don't go away. However, it becomes far less of a big deal, if you rise above. If people disagree with you and hate your blog, they don't need to read it any more and can leave. If the only attention people are getting in their entire lives is online, it is actually quite obvious. And if comments reduce you to tears and a whirlwind of despair and depression...turn off the computer, and move on. It's just a bunch of wires and tubes anyway.
Cate Sevilla is the Assistant Editor of Dollymix and regular contributor to Shiny blogs. And if you don't agree with everything she has said in this blog, she'll probably write a mean blog about you on Myspace and be unable to get out of bed for the next three days.
There's the added problem of online/text communication as a whole as well. 93% of communication relies on non-text cues.
Some of us can come across as too-harsh or too-critical in comments because we can't pepper our text-speech with the visual and audio cues that would otherwise buffer the criticism. It also feels stupid to put emoticons all over the place to try and replicate that sort of effect for online communications.
Harsh comments and trolls can take the mood down, but it's good to have some perspective.
Good advice, and thanks for linking to my article. I've met many bloggers who gave up after one little comment that I thought wasn't very offensive. But then when it happened to me, I realized that something was out of alignment within me that needed fixing.
We get so caught up in what we do sometimes, we forget that the world doesn't begin and end with us. ;-) Thanks for helping to spread the word that we are bigger than our blogs. And our blog comments. ;-)
Heya,
I was forced to write a blog as part of an assignment I had to do as part of my PR and Technology class this semester and I cannot believe how wrapped up in the blogosphere people have become.
Most of my blogging time has been dedicated to looking at innovators within the PR industry and the egos these poeple have are unbelievable! It appears to me that even though these pepole all have successful careers in 'the real world' their self worth is only validated by coming up with new online concpets to further boost their explosive egos.
I am afraid that I am sceptical about the whole blogging thing and think that soon people will be trying to find a new thing to rant about just as the rest of the world is coming to terms with blogs and super egos.
Deborah