Top 10 online dating rules

Come on, you knew it was coming. I've received over 15 press releases in the last two days on Valentine's Day, so some of it sneaking onto Shiny Shiny in the run up to the day was as inevitable as Robbie's latest stint in rehab.

Blue Compass Dating has issued their Top Ten tips for online dating. However, we're big fans of it here at Shiny Shiny (there is *no* better way to spend a lunch hour than giggling over profiles with your office mates) so I thought I'd add my two cents.

They say.... Upload a photo
I say... Do it. However, don't do any of these: make it black and white (either you think you're in a French arthouse film, or you're over-excited about the settings on your camera), take it of yourself in the mirror (do you have no friends?) or topless (this goes for men and women. It's just not appropriate).

They say... Take some time to complete your profile.
I say... Don't say anything like "I'm doing this for a bet", "I'm writing this drunk" or "I've never done this before, but my friend made me do it". That just makes the person who is neither drunk nor gambling hate you.

They say...Avoid bulk mailings
I say... Unless you've invested in some really high tech spam software that will individualise your emails in response to your target's profile.

They say...Avoid dodgy one liners
I say... Unless they come in the form of "Would you like to come and visit me on my yacht". That one might just work.

They say... Don't pass on or ask for contact numbers in the first message.
I say... Unless you've invested in a pay-as-you-go mobile especially for online dating. And no, I have never done that.

They say... Mention something in the profile that's caught your eye
I say... It means you can a) read and b) react and respond to relevant information. These are both good skills in life, so it's a mark in your favour.

They say... Don't bombard your potential Juliet or Romeo with message after message.
I say... Double emailing is *just about* acceptable, if you've left it at least 48 hours between messages. Any more than that, and you might have a case for calling the stalking police. This also goes for texts, although with SM you can double text if you've left it more than 24 hours. Those are the rules.

They say... Avoid writing in upper case, both in your profile and your messages.
I say... I would extend this to a general note about spelling and grammar. If you hold out any hope of getting a date, invest in a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves. You'll be glad you did when you're dating someone who doesn't write solely in txt spk.

They say... The best profiles and messages are those which show a spark of individuality and character.
I say.. This is true, but don't let a spark become a raging inferno. An interest in history is acceptable, spending every weekend re-enacting battles in the countryside isn't.

They say... Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
I say... Don't forget that there is always Real Life, where people have been known to meet spontaneously, like each other, and have a relationship. If you're leaving the pub early to go and check the site, you need to give yourself a stern talking to.

They say... whether you're single or in a relationship, enjoy Valentine's Day
I say... If you're single, probably best to think about it as the day before the 15th and the day after the 13th. Or even Wednesday. In fact, that also holds true for some people in a relationship - I'm not actually a fan of set menus and enforced love.