Vertu Duo with added sapphire (essential in a phone, I find)

I know I can't afford a Vertu. And I don't know you personally, but I suspect that you can't afford it either. But it's Friday, and we're all feeling a little delicate here at Shiny Towers, and there's no better way of getting over delicacy than with a bit of daydreaming. And there's a lottery draw tomorrow, so you never know...

This one has got a sapphire screen, which rather than being all jewel-like, just means it will never ever scratch, which I find a little disappointing. The rest of it is stainless steel and titan, and of course there's the concierge button, for your heart's desire whenever you please. And it'll set you back just $14,800.

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