Everybody farts; and although we all know it in theory, no one likes to be caught demonstrating this truism. (I'm not trying to accuse anyone of anything, I'm just saying, is all.) Flat-D Innovations, "the #1 name in flatulence odor control products," (a dubious honour if ever I heard one) offers the Flat-D Chair pad, a thin charcoal pad which, when placed on a chair, will absorb any offending odors in case of accidental gas discharge. It won't cure your gas or help with the noise, but it could be a great help if you suffer from flatus of the Silent But Deadly variety.
I'm only slightly horrified to point out that Flat-D also makes a line of "Women Only Products," which includes the Thong-D...disposable flatuence pads to be worn with thong underwear. I can't think of a less sexy pairing.
The Flat-D Chair Pad ($25.95) and the Thong-D (13.95 for a pack of 7 pads) are both available from the Flat-D website.
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This is a great product and it really works. I use it and it absorbs the intestinal gas odor. They also make a pad that goes in your underwear next to your bun. I highly recommend them.
You sound like my kind of guy.
I wonder if it would tame the kind of flatulence that could blow furniture across the room. Maybe Oprah could provide a demo, and distribute them free to her studio audience.
You all are a bunch of weirdos.
We're just manly men. Manly, manly men It's a guy thing. Did you think the hold of a pirate frigate was a fart-free zone? Ay matey, those were the days. I'm sure an errant spark would have detonated the ship.
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