Shiny Review: The Whiz

I can't believe I haven't posted about this yet! It wasn't till I saw a piece on The Whiz over on Popgadget that I realised I'd entirely failed to write about it. I got sent one of these plastic willy things last year, after talking to the company's hilarious marketing manager (and before that, I gave it a brief mention on Shiny when I wrote about the She-Pees at Glastonbury) She told me to give it a go in the bath first (!) and then try it out in the loo before moving on to outdoor vegetation sprinkling.

I couldn't quite bring myself to squat down in the bath holding a plastic penis to my nether regions. Yes yes, I know urine is sterile, but pissing in the bath just seems so undignified - plastic funnel or no.

Not that crouching over a lav is much more dignified, which is where I found myself last summer, feeling a flush of both embarrassment and adrenaline. Boy, what a thrill seeker! Widdling into a tube! No need to take you through the process step by step - suffice it to say that the whole procedure was accomplished without a hitch or splash and I came out of the bathroom with an emptier bladder and a fuller heart.

And as for my outdoor pursuits? Well, despite the fact that I went to a number of overnight woods parties last summer, and packed my Whiz each time, I never quite plucked up the courage to give the thing a go. Why? Well, because for my initial (wet) dry run, I had de-robed, but to give it a proper test, you're supposed to just shift all your underwear to one side, clamp the funnel on, and make free with the waterworks. Fact is, one small slip in the dark and I'd return to the camp fire with a warm sensation careering down my legs.

I've got another party in the woods in a few weeks, so maybe, just maybe I'll be brave enough to tinkle standing up.

And just a quick note about the Whiz before I move on to more palatable subjects. Back in 2004 I wrote: The Whiz ("pee, shake and stick it in your pocket" according to the Marketing Manager - remind us never to accept a chewing gum from her) and in fact, shake it hard enough and it really does go bone dry. That's because it's covered in a special coating that is antibacterial and repels water, so if you're really desperate, there's no reason why you shouldn't "pee, shake and stick it in your pocket" - except that your friends may disown you.