Do you know what a lifetime of watching horror movies has taught me? Two things. First, never go up stairs when a supernatural serial killer has been picking off your friends one-by-one. Second, dolls that flatter you and demand your affection are evil; full stop. Possessed by demons. The Devil incarnate. And very, *very* bad for your health.
Sure, Needies are cute – and goodness knows being on the receiving end of obsequiousness can be a real ego-booster now and then – but their driving need to compete with one another for your attention is un-nerving to say the least, and the fact that one of these diabolical dolls will suggest you commit violence against another Needie to prove your adoration is nothing short of creepy.
Mind you, I’m not saying Needies are necessarily Satanic. They may merely be the most passive-agressive, attention-hungry child’s toy ever made. What I am saying is you won’t see their adorable, co-dependent little faces around my home anytime soon. (Although they would be comforting to cling to when I go upstairs to investigate those little bumps-in-the-night.) [Star C. Foster]